1) Title of a book is more important than the content.

This is why:

2 million copies of the book

'How To Change Your Wife In 30 Days'
were sold within a week! 

Then the author realised that the book title had a spelling mistake. 

The book title should be

'How To Change Your Life In 30 Days'...

A week later, only 10 books were sold.

2) When a man dies, God asks the angels,

"Was he married?"

If the answer is 'Yes',
He says,

"Take him straight to heaven, he's already been through hell!"

3) Wife calls her scientist husband...

"Honey.. It is Saturday night ......You are late..."

"I'm busy with my team in an experiment"

"What's that?" the wife asked

The Scientist replied,

"We've just added a derivative of C2H5OH (whiskey) with ambiant temperature H2O (water) and aqueous CO2 (soda).

To cool this mixture, we added some super low temperature, solidified H2O (ice).

Now while waiting for some protein (chicken tikka), we are fumigating (smoking)the lab with vapours of nicotine.

It is a 4 or 5 rounds of experiment..
So I will be late."

The Wife responded,
"Oh dear.. I won't disturb you then. Take your time.."