1. Wife : Shall I prepare curry or soup today ?

Husband : First make it, we will name it later.


2. A frustrated husband in front of his laptop :Dear Google, please do not behave like my wife.. please allow me to complete my sentence before you start guessing & suggesting.


3. A married man’s prayer :  Dear God, you give me childhood, you took it away. You gave me youth, you took it away. You gave me a wife… it’s been years now, just reminding You.


4. A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5.30 after work.  His wife begins screaming at him and his friend just sits and listen in.

“My hair & makeup are not done, the house is a mess, the dishes are not done, I’m still in my pajamas and I can’t be bothered with cooking tonight !  Why the hell did you bring him home for ?” 

Husband answer “Because he’s thinking of getting married !”


5. Husband : I found Aladdin’s lamp today.

Wife : Wow! What did you ask for darling ??

Husband : I asked him to increase your brain ten times.

Wife : Oh darling..love u so much.. did he  do that??

Husband : He laughed and said multiplication doesn’t apply to zero.


6. Employee : Sir, you are like a lion in the office! What about at home ?

Boss :  I am lion at home too, but there we have a lion tamer !!


7. A man gave his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary and wife didn’t speak to him for 6 months.  Was the necklace Fake ??

Nooo! That was the deal.


8. A couple was having dinner at a fancy restaurant.  As the food was served, the husband said, “The food looks delicious, let’s eat.”

Wife : Dear, you say prayer before eating at home.

Husband : That’s at home… here the chef knows how to cook.


9. Best Slogan on a Man’s T’Shirt :  “ Please Do Not Disturb Me, I am Married and Already Very Disturb”