GEM #1

A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around,
scratching his crotch, and not paying attention.
She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed
and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was
quite itchy.
The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office.
He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it.
He went to the principal's office and returned to his class.
Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back
to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his penis hanging out.
"I thought I told you to call your mom!" she said.  
"I did," he said, "And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school." 
GEM #2:- 

A little girl asks her mum,  'Mum, can I take the dog for a walk around the block?'
Her mum replies,  'No, because she is on heat.'

'What does that mean?' asked the child. 
'Go and ask your father.  I think he's in the garage.'
The little girl goes out to the garage and says, 'Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block?   I asked Mum, but she said the dog is on the heat, and to come ask you.'
He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise

the scent, and said   'Ok, you can go now, but keep Lulu on the leash and only go one

time around the block.'
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog
on the leash..  Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?'
(You'll love this!!!!!!!!!)

The little girl said:
'She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is pushing her home.'

Kids, don't you just love them???