_1. What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?_

*Stress is when wife is pregnant;*

*Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;*

_*Panic is when both are pregnant!*_


_2. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?_

*Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away!*


_3.  A young boy asks his Dad: "What is the difference between confident and confidential?_

*Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!*


_4. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman ;_

*“Which book has helped you most in your life?”*

*The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”*


_5. A prospective husband in a book store: Do you have a book called,_ *Husband  the Master of the House?* *Sales Girl : “Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!"*


_6. Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife Darling, Honey, Love." What’s the secret?"_

*Old man : I forgot her name and I’m scared to ask her!*


_7. Wife : I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day._

*Husband : I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!*