Irish doctor’s apprentice

  A doctor in Dublin, feeling overworked, wanted to get off work and go fishing, so he approached his assistant.

 "Murphy, I am going fishing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients".

 "Yes, sir!" answers Murphy.

 The doctor goes fishing and returns the following day and asks: "So, Murphy, how was your day?"

 Murphy told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so he did, so I gave him Paracetamol."

 "Bravo Murphy lad, and the second one?" asks the doctor.

 "The second one had indigestion and I gave him Gaviscon, so I did sir" says Murphy.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the tird one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door flies open and a young gorgeous woman bursts in so she does.
Like a bolt outta the blue, she tears off her clothes, taking off everyting including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table and shouts:

"HELP ME for the love of St Patrick! For five years I have not seen any man!"

"Tunderin' lard Jesus, Murphy, what did you do?" asks the doctor.

"I put drops in her eyes."