Only Purple Heart recipients should read this



1 -How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It! 

2 -What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.  

3 - Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.. 

4 - How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it. 

5 - Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.  

 - If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? 
Made her chain too long 

 - Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? 
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing  machine will probably never be able to support you.  

 - Why do women have smaller feet than men? 
It's one of  those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sin

 - Why do men pass gas more than women? 
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.  

10 - If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course; He'll shut up once you let him in. 

11 - Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. 
It's called a Wedding Cake. 

12 - Why do men die before their wives? 
They want to.  

Send this to a few good
 men who need a laugh and to the select few women who don't own a gun.