Someone asks Ah Beng why
Lee Hsien Loong goes walking only in the evening
but not in the morning.
Ah Beng replies `Because he is PM not AM'


Ah Beng buys a new mobile.
He sends a message to everyone in his Phone Book
& says .......
'My Mobile  number has changed. Earlier it
was Nokia 3310.  Now it is Nokia 6610'

Ah Beng : I am proud coz my son is in Medical College .
Friend: Really, what is he studying?
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are studying him.


Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
Dr: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.

 Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.


Ah Beng : People consider me as a  'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the park today, everybody said,
                  Oh GOD!  Why U come here again?

 Ah Beng reports to police:
'Sir, all items are missing except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'Why the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'


Ah Beng comes back to his car & finds a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for  compliment.'

How do you recognize Ah Beng in school?
He is the one who erases his notes from the book when
the teacher erases the board.


Ah Beng goes to the cinema alone and returns later with 17 other friends.
He had read a sign which said "Under 18 not allowed"

 Ah  Beng was sitting in a bar and his cellular phone rings.
He picks it up and says 'Hello, how did you know I am here?'


Ah Beng always sit on the lower level of double-decker buses.
When asked why so, he says upstairs no driver.


Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella.'